I wrote this in my very first blog post…
The backpack and rollie is really a good metaphor for life and all the baggage we accumulate, both the real stuff and the emotional stuff we carry around. What’s really important goes into the rollie bag and all the old unnecessary crap… just let it go. I know, so much easier said than done. However, I’ve decided to jump on the bus to wherever and embrace the possibilities of being a citizen of the world and all that might mean.
What would I keep? How much stuff can you fit into a couple of carry on bags anyway? I’m about to find out. This blog is my exploration of my experience in letting go of the old, and at a time when it appears I’m becoming “old” myself, letting go in search of finding new joyful adventures. Green lights and full speed ahead!
That first post was written on March 3, 2012. Nearly two years ago. So much has happened since I put words to those thoughts. I’d certainly like to think the writing has improved, but that’s just ego getting in the way (again and still). We’ve sold stuff on ebay, made many trips to Goodwill, sat through garage sale hell, and here we are, still swimming in stuff. Still making the big house payment. Still waiting to win the Lottery so we can cash in the chips. In short, we’re in limbo. We’ve slipped back into our old, comfortable groove and it’s starting to wear on me. It doesn’t fit like it used to.
There’s an old saying about progress being two steps forward and one step back and there is a lot of truth there. Hubs and I have spent the last few months on auto pilot. I won’t bore you with the excuses. I won’t even bore myself with the excuses (often disguised as very good reasons). They aren’t important really. Truth is, it’s time for action and that isn’t always easy or comfortable. In that post two years ago I said I was “jumping on the bus to wherever, green lights and full speed ahead”, but it feels more like being trapped in a rush hour traffic jam. Nobody’s moving.
My Leap Date looms. It’s marked on my calendar and it’s starting to flash like a beacon.
We’re rounding the turn and heading for the home stretch. So set the countdown clock. It’s time to: Find a way. Make the plan. Get off the pot. Sell the stuff. Rent the house. Pack the bags. Send the cat to live with his Auntie Ann. Quit the job or figure out how to do it on the road. In short, it’s just do it or shut the hell up time.
It’s time to get on the bus to wherever before it leaves the station without me.
A lot of people I know choose a word at the beginning of the year to set their intention and focus their priorities around. My word for 2014 is BELIEVE. As in believe that I/we really can do this. This I know is true: If your fear of the unknown is stronger that your belief in your abilities to achieve your dream, you’re going to get stuck in the traffic and sit there spinning your wheels, wasting fuel, getting frustrated, doubting yourself. Fear: I’m not sure either hubs or I would have called it that out loud, but I’m pretty sure that’s where we’ve been stuck these past few months. Call it busy. Call it fear. Call it the inability to truly believe. Call it carting around some unnecessary baggage that’s weighing heavy in my backpack. I’m done being stuck. I choose to believe we can do this. Hell, I know we will do this. So let’s just do it then. And, sooner rather than later. My travel feet are getting itchy.
Now, I believe it’s cocktail time…somewhere. And I’ve got work to do.